Kinky Salon Americas most PATRIOTIC Sex-Positive Community presentsâ€¦
Saturday August 16th
10pm till LATE
At Mission Control (2519 Mission Street, San Francisco)
Couples and chaperoned singles only P.A.L. System in effect! (Click here fore details of this policy)
STRICT BYO beer and wine ONLY !
Howdy fellow AMERICANS, are you READY TO RUMBLE?
Hell, Iâ€™m so HARD just thinking about the upcoming STAR-SPANGLED SHENANIGANS it makes me pop-in â€˜BEST OFâ€™ GIRLS GONE WILD on the dashboard dvd player, blast some GARTH, plow my HUMMER through a endangered habitat and spill PABST all over myself!
Friends, if you donâ€™t grab yourselves a tall one, git your butts down hereâ€¦ and GIT YER SEXY ONâ€¦.
YOUâ€™RE ONE OF â€˜THEMâ€™!
One manâ€™s white trash is another manâ€™s treasure! MARK GROWDEN presents that all American instrument THE BANJO like youâ€™ve never heard it beforeâ€¦.
And DJ LARON getâ€™s your asses on the dancefloor with his ultra groovinâ€™ set (Weapons of ASS DESTRUCTION, Swan Productions)
And more tba!
Yo, check it out!
Try to â€˜steal thirdâ€™ at MAKE-OUT POINT!
Marvel at the â€˜purely educationalâ€™ beer-bong!
STAND to recite The Kinky Salon Pledge of Allegiance!
SING REAL LOUD with the â€˜America, FUCK YEAHâ€™ SING-A-LONG!
Join your fellow citizens; Shriners, Firemen, John Wayne, Elvis, Rodeo Clowns, Cheerleaders, Captain America, Cops, Daisy Duke, Uncle Sam, Evil Knievel, Obama Bin Bush and Jenna Jameson in theâ€¦
MAIN HALLWAY U.S.A. PARADE OF SPECIALNESS followed by the ALL AMERICAN ARENA ROCK LASER LIGHT TRIBUTE!!!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
GOD BLESS ALL YOU KINKY F*CKERS!
Colonel Saunders and Pocahontas post-coital in a Barbary Coast Opium Den, watching midget strippers fight on Jerry Springer to a soundtrack of Monster Trucks and Fleet Week Patriotic Jet fly-oversâ€¦..Summer nights of Mary Jane wafting out of a million teenage tail gate parties, rising up into the laser lights and fireworks and arena rock anthemsâ€¦topic of the night- Who youâ€™d rather f*ck, Mary Anne or Ginger?
Squealing pool party babes with feathered bangs and cut-off denim shorts so tight you can practically read their minds, shorts with pockets that hang out like little white tongues licking their legsâ€¦ â€¦BBQ, Ambrosia Salad, Soda, Rolls and CORNâ€¦Feed the MEN-FOLK, ready to fuck, ready to kill, ready to channel surfâ€¦maybe catch Snoop Dogâ€™s GIRLS GONE WILD; wet-t-shirt contests, drunk HOOTERS chicks, HOT MILFS and Cul De Sac Swinger partiesâ€¦ Going for â€˜third baseâ€™ in the back of a pick-up truck smelling of hunting dogs and hay then maybe some root-beer floats and burgers served by roller skating waitresses in Minnie Mouse outfitsâ€¦late night cornfield shenanigans or maybe up to â€˜Make-Out Pointâ€™ ; feeling each other up and when she put her tongue in your mouth… it tasted like head-shop incense, black-light velvet poster and cheap beerâ€¦.
AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!
DRESS:Stars and Stripes, cheerleaders, marching bands, white trash, disney disasters, fast food mascots, cowboys, pilgrims, puritans, tv evangelists, porn stars, rock stars, movie stars, wannabes, 50s housewives, 60s hippy dropouts, 70s swingers, 80s miami coke heads, 90s grunge, products, brands, corporate sponsors, credit cards, tv ads etc
Leather , Latex, Fetish costumes, Sexy lingerie, etc. ALL WELCOME
PLEASE No street clothes or sports wear YOU WILL BE TURNED AWAY!
For your reference and amusement: